Jan
18
Through many years of experience and observation, I can tell you with certainty that yelling at toddlers is simply not effective. In fact, it is counter productive.
Usually a Mother or Father yells at a toddler because the toddler is not behaving as they expect. Repeated asking results in the same “bad behavior” and eventually the parent becomes frustrated. The frustration leads to the parent raising his or her voice. The whole process is not particularly rational, but it is also unfortunately very common.
Raising your voice may be necessary on occasion, but it should not be the first tool that you take out of your parenting toolbox. If you yell too often, you simply train your child that this is normal behavior for you, and your child ignores it. Even worse, your toddler can grow up learning that it’s perfectly acceptable to yell. Do you want this?
If yelling is not effective, then what is effective? Simple. I recommend that all parents learn a wide set of communication strategies that actually get real results and reduce parenting stress. For example, it’s quite easy to turn almost any “problem” into a game that you can play with your toddler. All you need to do is reframe the situation through clever use of language. You might say, “Toby, I wonder how fast you’ll be able to get your socks and shoes on. Will you be able to get it done before I go get my car keys, or am I going to be faster than you?” This is a lot easier than (screaming) “Toby, get your socks and shoes on right now!”
I teach a wide variety of these skills to parents, and they really do work. Whether you learn them from me or develop your own set of tools, I highly recommend learning a new behavior to replace the habitual yelling.
By: Chris J Thompson
About the Author:
Chris Thompson is a parenting coach and author of the audio course, “Talking to
Toddlers: Dealing with the Terrible Twos and Beyond”. Chris specializes in teaching parents how to use little-known language tricks to allow parents to deal more effectively with
toddlers and preschoolers. Learn how to
improve child behavior by visiting
http://www.TalkingToToddlers.com Copyright Lawyer
Jan
16
One of the things I’ve noticed about parenting toddlers is that kids can be very demanding. Not only will they make demands of you, but their demands can get increasingly specific. It almost seems like they are doing it on purpose jut to see how far they can push things.
One of my daughters is a great example of this behavior. I remember how she would be when she was about 3 years old. She would wake up early and I’d take her downstairs to have breakfast together. She’d tell me she wanted cereal for breakfast, so I’d get out the Cheerios. Then she’s tell me, “No I want Raisin Bran” After I switched cereals, I grabbed bowl. She’s tell me, “No I want the yellow bowl, not the orange one” How can you ever win?
In the beginning I wasn’t worried about this. It was no big deal, and it wasn’t worth a fight. But soon afterward I realized I was going to have to show her how to make her own decisions and how to be responsible for her own choices. After I came to that realization, I started making her do things for herself if she changed her mind.
Say she told me she wanted Raisin Bran in the orange bowl. If she later decided that she actually wanted the yellow bowl, it was her problem to solve. I would simply tell her, “Sure sweetie - you can go get whatever bowl you want from the drawer”. Problem solved. Early on she would fuss and ask me to get it for her, but I didn’t. I was firm and polite about how she changed her mind and she would have to take care of the change by herself.
All too often, kids want their parents to do everything for them. They will push hard to test the boundaries. They want to see how far they can make us go to please them. Don’t let this get you mad - that won’t help. Instead, just remember that this is perfectly natural for kids to behave this way. Your best bet is to simply show them how to take action for themselves, and solve their own problems.
One thing to remember is that toddlers will often be upset if you say “No” to them without offering a solution. Instead of saying “No, I’m not getting you the orange bowl”, it’s better to say, “I see you want the orange bowl - and you can have it. All you need to do is go get it from that drawer over there”. This way you’re giving your child a solution while still firmly avoiding doing it for them.
If you don’t offer a solution, then you’re probably putting up a roadblock - and inviting a fight. Offering a solution, but not carrying it out for your child, forces them to take the appropriate responsibility and gets them to take action. Toddlers test boundaries all the time. It’s a normal part of learning. When you start to understand this, things get easier. It becomes easier to redirect things towards finding a solution that your child can participate in.
By: Chris J Thompson
About the Author:
Chris Thompson is the author of the
Talking to Toddlers audio course for parents. He teaches parents how to use language to solve temper tantrums. Get instant access to his free lesson on
parenting toddlers.
Phantom of the Opera
Jan
16
When creating a shared parenting plan for a child, one of the first factors to consider is the child’s age. The age of the child will have a big impact on how the parenting responsibilities will be shared, the frequency and length of visits, and how the parents can help the child adjust. Here is some advice for making a shared parenting plan for a toddler (ages 18 months to 3 years).
During the time as a toddler, a child develops quickly and substantially in many areas. It is during this time that the child recognizes himself as an individual and starts to act independently. Toddlers begin to express their own wills and desires and want to assert themselves.
Children at this age form attachments to many caregivers–child care workers, parents, grandparents, etc. They may also become fearful about transitions. This is important to note in your parenting plan. The child may have difficulty with separation so steps should be enacted to make this easier. It might be helpful to have the parent dropping off the child drive to the other parent’s house. It is also good if parents support each other and avoid negative talk and situations. Toddlers are sensitive to tension and anger.
A child of this age will do better with a predictable schedule. It’s important that both parents have regular visits with the children and that the visits are consistent. During the visits the parent should have enough time to give care to the child. This care should include feeding, napping, playing, clothing, and bathing the child. All of these activities will help the toddler bond with the parent.
A toddler is able to handle overnight visits. It is best to space these visits throughout the week so that the child isn’t away from either parent for too long. A child this age can handle being away for two or three days but not much longer than that. During this age parents can start telephone contact. The children will recognize the parents voice over the phone and will like the contact. The children also recognize pictures, so a picture of the other parent in the toddler’s room is a good idea.
This is a fun age. Parents should do fun activities with their toddler and keep note of the development. As with any child, the parents need to have good communication so they are parenting the best they can.
By: Chloe Nelsun
About the Author:
Dogs Discussion
Jan
15
In this article, we’ll be looking at some other things you can do…
Children between 1 and 4 can be very difficult sometimes. The most difficult part here is to keep your cool. I know it’s almost impossible sometimes, but you really don’t want to get to the point where you “lose” it. Let me share some tips and ideas with you, that might help you dealing with your toddlers in the future…
In the past 10-20 years, we’ve learned that hitting our children isn’t the way to go. And in the recent years, we are moving more and more away from using discipline, especially when we are talking about kids in the toddler age.
If you’re using discipline to raise your children, you’ll only accomplish children that act out of fear and because they are afraid of you… They won’t learn from their mistakes or act because they know what’s right and wrong.
Another thing we’ve learned in the past decade or so, is that this age between 1 and 4 are the perfect time to show your children unconditional love. However, what often happens is that we’ll show our children a lot of love when they are babies, but as soon as they grow older, we expect them to act as adults (I’m exaggerating a bit here, but I hope you know what I’m mean here).
Please, don’t dwell in the past… If you haven’t been the best parent up until now, there’s no need to let that stop you. You can always change your patterns and one way of doing so (when it comes to your children) is to start showing them how much you love them.
Make sure that their needs are met and make sure that they know you’ll always love them… no matter what! It’ll pay off when they get older.
So… what should you do instead of disciplining them? Keep it cool and be consistent. When you say no to let them have an ice cream, it’s important that you are consistent.
If you give them the ice cream later you’ll only learn your children that if they keep bugging you, they’ll eventually get what they want.
It takes time to be a good parent and none of us knew what to do the first time we had an uncontrollable child in our hands…
Remember that it’s always better to realize that you wasn’t consistent that realizing that you lost your temper.
By: Chris W. Carter
About the Author:
Pregnancy
Jan
15
The reasons behind a lot of crazy behavior coming from toddlers is not always clear. When it comes to toddlers parenting can be somewhat gauged by a gut feeling. Some of the time. The other times its completely the opposite, having an almost scientific method.
There are certain causes and effects from those causes and many parents instinctively know if things will work or not for their toddlers. They can just tell inside their heart that it might not be a good idea. Its like they can already see the outcome. This is an instinct that is developed over a period of time though. So for those new parents of new toddlers here are some helpful tips following the reasons behind these toddler behaviors.
These reasons help with stopping the behavior or at the very least, useful as a preventative measure. This article is a short list of some of the more common reasons behind common toddler behavior.
The big one is being tired. Well, this one is easily dealt with in most cases. Providing a quiet place and some relaxing activities and try for a nap-time. If at all possible incorporate it into your daily schedule. Toddlers do much better in a routine or a regularly scheduled program.
Another big influence on these kinds of behaviors is hunger & thirst. Giving a good wholesome breakfast is always good but a lot of times children need to eat little snacks throughout the day. They expel a lot of energy and need to vamp up afterward. Always keep juice and water around and this should all just take care of itself.
Anxiety and Fear alongside embarrassments. Those things are enough to make anybody cranky. Being supportive and understanding is always best when it is acted out and enforced for a young one. Hugs, smiles, supporting words of encouragement all go a long way. But if your child just seems too overwhelmed remove them from the uncomfortable situations and administer the said hugs & such.
Frustrations can occur at almost any moment when a toddler is involved. Sometimes the strangest things mean a lot to those little toddlers. If they cannot put a puzzle together right the first time and its havoc. Helping them out is always suggested. Just make sure you let them put the last few pieces together and tell them you knew they could do it. It will help build their confidence and self esteem.
Unable to Communicate their needs. This one happens quite a lot and research shows that even the most intelligent kids still run into this difficulty. Teaching them other skills to help communicate their ideals is helpful. Show them how to make nonverbal gestures. Maybe some sign language basics. Pointing to pictures or drawing and association helps tremendously.
There are many other helpful tips and strategies that will stop whining, outbursts, and tantrums from toddlers. Parenting toddlers at any stage is always a lot of fun but it can also be very unpredictable. So any and all information that can help you to identify core behaviors, environments that promote them, and ways to prevent them are always welcome information.
By: Julian Anthony
About the Author:
Does your child hear you explain rules and openly ignores them? Do you worry that when you go out with your child they will throw a tantrum in public? There is a solution and it does not require you to punish your child and damage your relationship. This
Happy Child’s Guide to Discipline is getting excellent feedback all across the country. greatly reduce the stress and anxiety you feel when your child misbehaves.A Must See Free Presentation Video Endorsed by the Child Brain Health Research Institute is highly informative for any parent. Its filled with scientific methods to get even the most difficult children to listen and cooperate. This Free (no action required) Video Presentation is a great help for
Parenting Toddlers Gifts for Toddlers
Jan
14
Parenting is not for the faint of heart-especially if we’re talking about parenting toddlers! At this stage, your child starts to show her unique personality and to develop interests and preferences. It may be a new found obsession with “princess” like dresses and hair accessories, or it may be an endearing habit, like singing to her mommy each morning. You may also begin to notice that these wonderful qualities come with ones that are pretty challenging! Toddlers are famous for throwing tantrums and demanding things like baby gifts. Here are some things to prepare your for parenting your toddler.
She will demand your undivided attention. She will want you by her side all day long! She will follow you around as you go about the household chores and will want to be a part of everything you do. It sure is nice to be at the center of someone’s universe, but it can also be exhausting!
She can be highly egocentric.At this age, she has not yet learned how to be considerate of other people’s thoughts and feelings. It will be all about her, her, her. Her baby gifts, her story time, her favorite TV shows, her play time. But don’t worry, according to child development experts, a toddler’s self-centeredness is part of developing a strong sense of self. That does not mean that you should keep giving in to all of her whims and fancies. She needs to know that there are limits.
She has a limited attention span. One of the things you notice about your toddler is that she does not stick with one task for very long. She is likely to shift from one activity to another. She may be engrossed with her hair clip collection one minute, and singing along to her favorite children’s shows the next.
She is fiercely independent. Toddlers are only beginning to truly see the world around them. They want to discover this new world and they usually want to explore on their own. Whether or not they’re prepared to admit it, they need your help and guidance. This guidance may not always be welcome, but it’s a necessary part of the plan.
She is easily frustrated. At this tender age, her abilities simply can’t keep pace with her ambition and curiosity. She is determined to look like a fairy of the forest but can’t put on her flower hair accessories properly, so she becomes enraged. Though easily frustrated, toddlers are extraordinarily persistent, which is one reason they learn so fast.
She follows her own “clock.” Your toddler is not yet aware that adults have schedules to follow. She operates on her own time. It can either be extremely fast (like when she is magnetically pulled toward a dangerous object) or painfully slow (like when she insists on choosing a dress and then dressing herself). She isn’t the least bit worried about whether you’re late for work or that you have a pile of laundry to finish. Trying to rush her will only be frustrating for you both. So chill out, relax, and cherish the precious moments of re-discovering the world through your toddler’s eyes.
By: Rachelle Salinger
About the Author:
Rachelle Salinger is a freelance writer whose two passions in life are: family and fashion. This mother of two loves to stay on the loop of the latest trends in hair accessories and the best
baby gifts in the market. She currently writes for No Slippy Hair Clippy, purveyor of the finest non-slip hair clips for girls of all ages.
Toddlers
Jan
14
Raising toddlers can be very difficult sometimes. It’s very important that you do not lose your temper with young children, but remain calm and don’t ever back down, no matter how loud the screaming becomes. Below are a few tips to help you raiser your toddler.
1. Remain calm. It is very frustrating for a toddler not to get his or her way; and even more frustrating for mom when toddler ignores her requests and ends up throwing a fit for what is desired. Once you begin arguing with or shouting at your toddler, you’ve lost. At all times the child must know that you are the boss, you are in control and that you have the authority. When relating to toddlers, you also want them to know that you not only are in control of them, but of yourself and the things around them. If a lot of yelling is happening in your house, your toddler does probably not feel very secure. Regardless of how it seems, your toddler wants you to be in control - he is just testing you. Remember, you can be very angry, and still calm. Your child should know that her behavior upsets you, and then discipline can occur. Discipline should be directly related to the bad behavior and should not be done out of anger.
2. Don’t give in, no matter what. Even if you are in the middle of the nicest restaurant in town, do not give in just to quiet your child, nor should you buy your toddler a treat if you lost your temper. You child will quickly learn that if she throws a fit in public, she will get what she wants, or at least a treat. If you child starts throwing a fit in public simply pick your screaming, squiggly child up and walk out where you can calm the toddler and discipline her. The more consistent you are, the less likely your child will be to throw a fit to get her way - knowing it will do not good. And, at some point, she will figure out that good behavior is what gets her treats.
3. Be a good role model. Children imitate real life, and the real life they are most likely to imitate is the one in which they live - you and your spouse being at the center. It’s important to do the right thing all the time, including admitting when you’ve made a mistake, or apologizing when you’ve lost your temper.
Incorporating these simple 3 tips into your habits for raising your toddler and everyone will be much happier.
By: Tiffany Windhurst
About the Author:
Make Money
Jan
14
Having a toddler makes everyday fun. They are always saying and doing things that make a parent laugh out loud. However, it is also a time of frustration and headaches. The term “terrible two’s” or “terrible three’s” is a term that has been known for years, and for good reason. Usually at this age children are in a deviant stage. Parents may find that their toddler loves the word ‘no’ and will shout it at the top of their lungs until they get what they want. This makes it a time when parents are at their wits ends and looking for anything that might help.
The good news is that this is only a phase and children will grow out of it, even though at the time parents may believe it will never end. There are a few things that parents can do that will help a child get out of this phase a little quicker. When the child throws a tempter tantrum it may involve throwing themselves in the floor all the while kicking and screaming. Simply ignore this behavior. Though, it may be hard to ignore that is the best thing that a parent can do. By acknowledging the behavior that parent is rewarding it. Thus, the behavior will continue because the child believes that he or she can get what they want by throwing a tantrum.
Many toddlers also develop the strong use of the word ‘no’. When this is shouted at parents, many times they get frustrated and begin to argue with the child. If you find yourself doing this, step back, take a breath and do not lose your cool. This is very similar to the tantrum behavior. If you do not acknowledge it the child will understand. After the child has calmed down, the parent needs to explain that the type of behavior they exhibited is not the way to get attention. Constant reinforcement is the key to handling and ending this behavior. However, do not be surprised if the child attempts it a few more times. That is one thing everyone loves about toddlers….they don’t give up easy.
In any kind of obstacle that is faced with toddlers, it is important for parents to keep their cool. If that means walking away to another room for a few moments, then do it. Though the behavior is irritating, it is almost a rite of passage that every toddler goes through. They will grow out of it guaranteed. If they didn’t there would be adults screaming the word no and throwing themselves on the ground in a tantrum. It will get better with time.
By: Hernan Stunt
About the Author:
Baby Shower
Jan
13
When a couple has a new child, it is certainly a joyous occasion.
Jan
13
Toddlers are now walking and exploring every part of your home. They are testing boundaries in every sense of the word. There are many things going on in their lives at this time. Here are some tips that might just help you through it.
They are curious about everything. So they will attempt to get into everything. Make sure things you don’t want them playing with are far out of reach. That way they are free to roam the house and explore while not damaging themselves or anything else. It is the responsibility of the parents to guide their children in this world. Make sure you show them what is appropriate and lead by example. Their communication skills are not yet complete but they are learning very quickly. Be careful because they will copy or repeat anything you say. They are learning vocabulary, tone, facial expressions and many more things regarding communicating and the only place they are learning this off is yourself and ones that take care of them. Put covers on everything you see. Toddlers are prone to making a mess of everything in their path. Couch covers, tv covers if yours is within reach and anything else you wish to protect. Take them through everything you are doing. In order for them to learn the right way to do things you must show them. This means everything from going to the toilet to showering, making dinner, watering the garden and everything else you do during the day or night.
By: Adam P
About the Author:
Smart Babiles
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